As I post tonight’s blog, I am very, VERY sad. I just thought I might feel better if I write about it because I am walking around like a zombie, in a fog.
On Christmas of 2003, my sons and daughters-in-law gave me the precious gift of a new puppy. A girl! My FIRST girl! Oh My God – I was so excited, I cried. I had always wanted a yellow lab. I don’t know why – I just think they’re beautiful and hugable and lovable. Lady Margaret, my “Maggie” – a dream come true.
Lately she has been in pain. I stayed up with her all night the past two nights and then took her to the vet today. Her beautiful brown eyes had been looking at me as she whimpered, “Mommy, PLEASE, help me.” Thinking she had arthritis, put on a new special diet and pain meds, I thought maybe she was just constipated from her new regimen. “The vet will fix it girl – don’t worry.” And away we went, her head hanging out the car window in the breeze.
Within minutes of being examined, the doc looked grim. A massive lump was found in her belly.
Upon further observation, it was determined that my Maggie has a tumor blocking her colon and urethra. “HUH?”, as I listened in a fog, “These types of tumors in this location are most often NOT benign. There is a slim, slim chance that it is not cancer but we just want you to know your options.”
Tonight my Maggie is comfortable in the care of Doctor Lisa, our friend. Tomorrow, after a CT scan we will know for sure.
I am not ready to say goodbye to my friend. I AM NOT READY TO SAY GOOD-BYE!! But… I will do the right thing.